A lot of these songs, if not all of them, are from the 80s which was a truly suck ass decade regardless of what VH1 would have you believe.
In no particular order:
1. My Own Way, Duran Duran. This song should suck a mighty cup of Earl Gray but John Taylor’s driving bass line keeps it funky and out of Suckland. Plus, Simon LeBon’s line, “I saw you at the air race yesterday, April showers get out of my way.” The air race? Huh? Whatever an “air race” is it sounds pretty fucking cool. Also it makes me think of that lady on the Rio album cover.
2. Another One Bites the Dust, Queen. I heard this song for the first time in a long time coming home from work last night. It has this nice little funk rhythm going on in the background while F. Mercury barks out the lyrics. It’s fly, for sure. Hey hey!
3. Snow Days, Trip Shakespeare. Now you’re thinking, “Who the fuck is Trip Shakespeare and why do I give a shit about snow days?” They’re a band from Minnesota. Disbanded now. One of the singers did that song “Closing Time”, who our friend Barbara, thinks is nasty. Anyways, one of the singers is such a nerd that he belts the song out, as a snow day should be announced, “It’s COMING DOWN! When your roads are patrolled by children, there’s NO ORDER TO BE FOUND!”
4. Big Country, Big Country. I don’t remember what I was going to say about this song when I wrote it down but it sure is good. I remember some sci-fi kids in junior high writing a short story around it. Pretty good story too. I think one of the authors is a transsexual now.
5. Rosanna, Toto. Man. This song has everything! It’s what Meatloaf always wanted to do, but couldn’t because he sucks and is too serious to do anything cool. I remember it as the song at the carnival one summer–just blasting over the midway. All the cool carnival types walking around in their jean cut off shorts.
6. Black Cow, Steely Dan. Everything Steely Dan does is awesome but a song about a root beer drink? Should sink right to the bottom of the Suck Sea. What saves it? The razor sharp lyrics cut it away from its suck anchor, “In the corner, of my eye. I saw you at Rudy’s, you were very high. You were high. It was a crying disgrace.” Oh and they’re musical arrangements are tight. Yes. Tight.
7. Islands in the Stream, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Kenny R. starts this song out, but by the time Dolly comes in on the second verse, Kenny is just left in the proverbial vocal dust, holding his jock.
8. True Colors, Cyndi Lauper. I’m not a big fan of the chorus but the verse is good and makes me feel a little like I might have something precious to give away.
Well. That’s my list. Didn’t make it to ten, but oh well. You get the point. Please feel free to add to it.